Saturday, February 26, 2011

Love by Name

Although I have known for many years that I have a great name, spring semester has only taught me something new. I have known for a long time that I my name can be diced up multiple ways to receive multiple nicknames.

But I never anticipated it's greater potentials. As a very determined student I was reviewing my graduation requirements, checking off my fulfilled General Education classes, also known as Gen Eds.

And that was the moment of inspiration. Suddenly I had not just realized the greater potential of a university but I have found the way to find my man. I need to marry a man named Ed. Since I don't plan on getting married for a goodly many years, and to have a doctorate, and to marry a man with similar qualifications, I would, as Dr. Genevieve, be promoting higher education every time you introduced me and my husband at parties, "This is Gen, Ed".

I was on the brink of deleting all male contacts that did not have this important qualification (which sadly would have been all of them) when I confided my plan in my friend Jess and her fiance. They were a little dubious about my plan. They urged me to consider one of their friends for a blind date, name of Eric.

I assured them that this would never do, as I said "Gen, Eric" didn't work, but in saying it, I found that it did. My world was looking up again.

Jess and Parker, sweethearts that they are, thus came up with a whole list of potential suitors, supposing of course, that I can find eligible bachelors of this name.

Some of their options will require that the hostess almost forget my husband's name whenever we are introduced, as in "Gen, er, Earl".

But I can't be selfish and always claim the first spot. What about a boy named Ox? If you introduce him first, "Ox an' Gen". And suddenly, as Jess revealed this, a whole table of elements became possibility. I could marry a science geek, and still promote education. Hydro. Nitro. Bio.

With this inspiration I was coming up with great possibilities. Get a boy named something like Emery or Emmet, whose last name starts with c. "Emer, Gen C." If we ever got in an accident we would be conveyed to the hospital in the most efficient manner possible. Our name would serve as our condition. I don't have to be too picky about the guys birth name even. I mean, David from Delta went by Storm. So what is there to stop a boy going by Twig (and with the prevalence of inanimate objects making their way into names like Rope, Apple, River, and Dock, I am not even ruling out the boy being named Twig). Then we could open a store called TwigGen (twiggen is a real word) that specializes in furniture. The possibilities seemed endless.

I was ecstatic until I realized that there was only one slight problem. All the boys seem to be antigens. Suddenly I felt like a cryogen and so I released myself to the world of pathogens.

Suddenly the desire to be a hermit increased by ten fold. How about Copenhagen?

Well, I really should get to studying more seriously, considering that I have a mere three midterms next week. Until I earn enough money to deplore my single state in foreign countries, I'll just be a collagen.


    I enjoyed every line of this post and look forward to more entertaining and thoughtful posts in the future.
    Personally, I am rooting for a suitor named Ox. I think it fortends a harmonious union. First of all, you need oxegyn to breathe. Second, how could you remain upset with someone whose name caused you to burst into laughter everytime you said it?
    I do think that matching names is a successful route to happy marriage.
    Love, Denim (think about it...) :)

  2. Yeah! I get to post the first and second comments. Sorry about all the mispelled words in my comment. I was trying to type through tears after laughing. You would never know that in a former life I was ED...

  3. Love your blog. I am so EXCITED that you have started one. I look forward to many more witty, clever and interesting blog posts! I also really like your profile picture and blurb about you. VERY FUN! Now if we can only get Kat to jump on the band wagon! :) I wish I had some witty comment or some witty way my husband and my names went together :) or just a husband would suffice! :)



  4. This was terribly clever! And, I do love things of that nature. The Burr episodes pale in comparison to the possibilities now before us. LOVE this blog! (Kathryn, can you hear me? Start a blog! Right now.)

  5. I hope this is the genesis of many great blogs. I generally like lots of pictures mixed in, but this was generous with ingenuity so it generated much interest. I wonder if your genuine love of words will be genetic. I guess only future genes will tell, but first you will have to fall in love with some gent so there can follow generations of collagens:) Thanks for your genius. -Your Genteel Mother

  6. Yeah!!! A blog! First facebook and now a BLOG!! I'm so proud of you lol and you are such a great writer!!! :) love you

  7. Remember how you only posted one time? And we all liked it. So much. And then you never posted again? That was sad. You can fix it, though, if you want. The end.

  8. I agree with Heidi! I have felt the same way! I REALLY like your post...and I would REALLY like to like more! You should do that soon. Perhaps within the week!