As some of you may know, I have cherished the dream of climbing out a window with a bed sheet ladder. My life is rather devoid of romance so I feel that this one ridiculous-ness will serve me well later in life.
But my practical voice insists upon chiming in. After all, there very well may be a fine, or even an actual law, for escaping apartments via bed sheet. Clearly what is needed is a house, covered in ivy, hidden from the road, that comes with magical springy grass should I fall.
But there are other considerations. Such as, is this possible, or even the stuff of true fairy-tale legend? Did bed sheets have a wider historic context? Did Guinevere first start this tradition or was the bed sheet or did an actual person escape in this laudable way? So being an undergrad at a research university, I decided to do a little research on the matter. Research on childhood dreams is a very precarious situation. If one reads too much the magic is gone and the dream becomes an unmemorable copycat of misguided zeal. If you don't do enough research, you could die. You could be dead. And the bed sheets could be equated to the rooftop killer.
So I set out to do a perfect amount of preliminary research. I found some gems online, which I would include pictures of (my next post will have some pictures), but I wasn't sure it was entirely legal, but I found a bed sheet ladder you could buy. It was a wooden ladder, specifically designed to hold bed sheets. That takes all of the fun out of the ladder.
After flipping through cartoon images and other random pictures and myths, I found what my heart must secretly have been craving: "How to" instructions. Clearly this was my destiny.
The directions seemed extremely interesting, and I was not entirely sure that it would serve as a life or death situation safety ladder, when I got to the bottom disclaimer:
"Never attempt to descend or ascend a large area without the use of a proper ladder. Ladders constructed from bedsheets are for decorative purposes only." (Having this makes me feel more legal. After all, I would never dream of phrasing the concept this way and I want to give full credit to the original authors).
Let us take a moment to reread that quote: "for decorative purposes only." I will never be one to claim brilliance in the field of fashionable interior design, but I had absolutely no idea that bed sheet ladders were in. I now feel that my room is incomplete without a cut apart sheet dangling elusively over the window.
Research proved, once again, to be a valuable commodity in my life. I look forward to all of the decoration possibilities I now have for my apartment next year. It's like a travel theme, but with bedsheets and other really trendy and flashy escape devices.